About Face

The feeling of dread was back in the pit of my stomach. I had seen that image so many times and nothing about that picture made me want a second look. But I sat there and could not look away…

My eyes once again drifted down to the little box in the corner that held my picture. I was on Zoom… again.

Technology has allowed meetings to occur even in the midst of the pandemic, but telecommunications never prepared me for the shock of my “online presence.” Now as I gather with groups in a virtual format and we are each in our little Brady Bunch boxes, I am starting to cringe at the sight of my face on the screen.

When I study my reflection, questions start to fill my mind as I politely chat with others. Is my skin really that blotchy? And how is it that my face looks both haggard and bloated? Do the other people in my meeting realize that the salons have been closed and my hair is not usually this wild?

I notice all these things about myself, of course, and smile nonchalantly. I have to put on a brave front because the real culprit lies just beneath my face. No matter how I adjust the lighting or move my camera, I am still confronted by the worst part of my photo – my neck.

The camera reveals the sad fact that my neck has not aged well. Instead of retaining the graceful lines of my youth, my once swan-like neck has become an expanded bit of my face. My friends have also complained about this harsh reality with their own pictures.

I have attempted to correct this problem by wearing different tops, trying a variety of necklines, to minimize the effect of all that extra skin. So far, I have not found the solution.

This problem has even nudged me to consider my other, more creative options. Scarves might be a good choice, but I thought that they seemed a bit dressy given my current stretchy pants wardrobe. Out of desperation, I have even wondered if a British staple of high society, the ascot, might work. Maybe if the pandemic lasts long enough, I can bring some sort of frilly neck adornment into fashion.

With so many virtual meetings in my future, no one should be surprised if I start to experiment. It’s August and sultry, but I’m getting desperate. Turtleneck anyone?